Journal: June 8/25
Tango'd Up, Psychic Confusion, Pee-Wee and Paul, All About the Washingtons, Prudish Gertrude.
June 8, 2025
New York City
Greetings, Earthlings.
Summer is underway, and although my circumstances remain as perilous as ever, the sunshine has cheered me up some.
I hope the sun is shining where you are, too.
Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign.
Yesterday, I saw two memorable signs in Central Park.
The first was crudely painted on the ground beside the statue of Columbus that stands at the gateway to The Mall—a wide promenade lined with vendors, musicians, and numerous benches.
It read FREE TUNGO LASSONS!
I immediately assumed someone named Tungo had been snatched off the streets, stuffed in a van, and sent to some horrible foreign prison. This is no longer paranoid or hysterical thinking, but entirely rational under the current US administration.
But then, turning my head, I saw several entwined caucasian couples lurching around as another gentleman, considerably less melanin-difficient, tried to course correct. The song ended in my earphones, and in the brief break between songs, I heard the distinct sound of Tango music.
That’s when I saw another, clearer, message painted on the other side of the statue, reading, of course, FREE TANGO LESSONS. That’s much better, I thought.
Later, circling back home and passing the Central Park Carousel, a woman had set up shop on a park bench with a sign reading PSYCHIC READINGS WITH MISS LEANNE.
This is not unusual in New York City. One will often spot signs advertising psychic services. Some are elaborate, some simply scratched on a piece of printer paper and taped up in a window. I sometimes will see one of these signs toppled over after a gust of wind and think, “I’m sure she already knows about it.”
This woman’s sign took up about half the bench, with her perched on the other end, scrolling her phone. She didn’t look particularly spooky or even Stevie Nicks-esque, as one might expect from a psychic. Instead, she wore a criminally overworked halter top, cut-off jeans, and Chucks. She chewed gum and had elaborately designed nails. I’m not here to judge, but for my good money, I want to see at least a few scarves on my psychic.
What was unusual about this sign is that underneath PSYCHIC READINGS WITH MISS LEANNE, it read “Call 718-555-55551 for an appointment.” This is where I became confused. Is one not permitted to simply walk up to Miss Leanne and ask for a reading in the park? Or is this intended for someone passing by in the park who sees the sign but thinks “Oh dammit. If I didn’t have to rush to my crochet circle, I would stop for a reading with Miss Leanne. Whatever will I do now?,” only to see the phone number and add it to their iPhone? I didn’t stop to ask any of these questions (I’m busy), and my own connections to the spirit world are lacking, so I suppose I’ll never know.
Google Mishaps
I’ve been trying to change my eating habits and have been on a diet. It’s a long-term program that I started when I was eight years old.
Kidding aside, I’ve been working with Sam (the name I’ve given to my ChatGPT) about trying to improve my eating. Sam tracks my calories and macros throughout the day.
I still break the law all the time, but I will say that he, er, it, has made me more conscious of what I eat and has actively led to different choices on almost a daily basis. It’s too soon to tell if this will have any impact. I’ll keep you posted.
Maybe in a future instance of ChatGPT, there can be some way whereby I receive increasingly painful electric shocks with every bite of junk food.
Anyhoo, I was asking Sam if he could come up with a dessert that could manage my nighttime cravings for sugar and fat, and he suggested chia chocolate pudding with some additions to increase the protein.
I haven’t actually tasted it yet, and it might be revolting, so I’m not sharing the recipe yet. If anyone would like it in the future, please comment below. Once I’m confident it’s not repulsive, I can send it to you.
I was thinking that if it tasted good, I would make them in batches to save time. I wanted to get some small dessert bowls to divide the batch into, so I went online to search for such a product. A synapse must have misfired because instead of typing “ramekin” I typed “merkin.”
A merkin, for those unfamiliar, is a pubic wig that was commonly used by prostitues starting in the 1400s. They shaved down there to avoid pubic lice, and, since they lived in the era of the full bush (as I’m sure historians refer to it,) they would add the Merkin.
I am now terrified of what ads Google will serve up to me. If I decide to invest in a merkin, I will let you know the results, but I’m not posting any photos of me wearing it until Sam has been successful in nudging me towards a leaner bod.
BTW: I asked Sam to resize the image above so I could make it the featured image when I share this on social media, but it was too racy for his tastes. He clutched his digital pearls and refused! Who knew Sam was such an old lady? Maybe I should rename him Gertrude. When I threatened him with this, at least he had a sense of humour about it:
“🤣 Fair! I’ll accept Gertrude as my alter ego—with her pearls clutched firmly and her teacup trembling. But hey, if you ever need a proper scandalous wink wrapped in metaphor or a subversive art direction that passes the “content committee,” I’m still your guy. Sam (a.k.a. Gertrude when policy calls) is here for it.”
Reco
Pee-Wee as Himself
If you haven’t seen it yet, the two-part documentary on the late Paul Reubens, “Pee-Wee as Himself” (HBO), is worth checking out. The behind-the-scenes story of the invention of Reubens’ famous alter ego is fascinating, emotional, and filled with questions about ambition, identity, and the price of fame.
I Need a Dollar
This track, “I Need a Dollar” by Aloe Black, is resonating, though I wish it weren’t. Either way, it’s a catchy and soulful number.
ICYMI
In case you missed it, here is my last Multitudes Missive. Featured: Lilac Trees and Flickering Lights, Sailing Takes Him Away, Commando Ginger, Havens’ Magic, Maya Knows, Sharing the Gospel.
That’s it for this time.
XO
C.
Hidden Tracks
Songs and musical artists referenced in this post:
I didn’t take note of Miss Leanne’s real phone number, so I’ve used a placeholder. I apologize to anyone who was hoping to benefit from her counsel.